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You know those habits you have that just make you annoyed with yourself? That is how I’ve felt for a while about my evening routine (or lack thereof). When I was working in an office, I really felt like I was struggling to have time to relax after work. I would get off work at 6 pm, and the next thing I knew it was 9 pm, and I hadn’t even made dinner yet. I felt frustrated by my lack of time management skills, and I didn’t know where all of that wasted time was going. 

I would see these amazing aesthetic evening routines on TikTok, and I did not understand how people had the time and energy to spend on an evening routine. I wanted that for myself. Having that designated time in the evening to unwind sounded so nice and relaxing.

Fast forward to now, when I’m working for myself, from home, and have a much more flexible schedule. I thought this would be my ideal scenario for finally having the evening routine of my dreams. Yet I still find myself ending most days feeling like I ran out of time to do the things I would like to do at the end of the day

What are these things I dream of doing in the evenings? My ideal evening routine would include: 

• Working (because I like working at night, and I would like to get in the habit of getting ahead of my agenda)
• Relaxing and watching some tv
• Doing crafts (I would particularly like to spend more time crocheting)
• Reading (I read so much when I was younger, and I have been saying for so long that I want to get back into that habit)

So why does it feel so difficult to carve out enough time in the evening to do these unwinding activities and still go to bed at a reasonable hour? I think this is due to a combination of a lot of factors, but mainly it comes down to a lack of time management skills and Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.

Poor Time Management

I acknowledge that, at the age of 23, I still do not seem to have developed a solid understanding of time management. I haven’t quite figured out how to structure my day to get everything done while still budgeting enough time to unwind the way I would like to. 

I have come to realize that this time management issue combines forces with something known as Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.

What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?

“Revenge Bedtime Procrastination” is the coined term for the act of staying up late to have time to relax and unwind. This is a reaction to feeling like your day is too full and you don’t have time for yourself. This can be caused by work, school, taking care of a family, or any other responsibilities that take up a significant amount of the day.

Essentially, this is trading sleep for free time. When I first learned about this cycle, I realized that this was what I was struggling with. And it makes complete sense.  It is a chain reaction: not allocating my time to allow myself to relax properly lead me to feel like I didn’t have enough time for myself during the day, causing me to delay going to bed. It was very frustrating because I could sense that I was moving more slowly than I would like to when it came to getting ready to go to sleep, yet it was a continuous pattern.

There are a lot of problems that can stem from not getting enough sleep, from fatigue and brain fog to serious health issues, such as high blood pressure and heart disease. Plus, sleep has a huge effect on your mental health. I know from firsthand experience, that not getting enough sleep can make me feel terrible and can cause an unwanted breakdown.

What is so special about having an evening routine? 

I’m talking a lot about how much I admire other people’s evening routines and want to replicate them for myself. But what is it about these routines that makes them so remarkable? 

There are a lot of benefits to having an evening routine.

Evening Routine Benefits

A solid evening routine helps you get to bed on time and get a good night’s sleep. Getting enough rest sets you up for a successful day. Plus, scheduling time in your day for activities that bring you joy helps improve your overall mental health and well-being. Setting aside time for these joyful activities can also help you avoid the exhaustion that can come from giving all of your time/energy/attention to work all week and only relaxing on weekends. I’m realizing it is a much healthier mindset to create a balance of work and play throughout the week. That balance can look different for different people. For me, it will include creating time for the activities I mentioned above. The advice I offer in this blog post will help you find a way to bring that joy into your day, so you can end your nights more relaxed and feel more refreshed in the morning.

How To Create An Evening Routine (Steps)

This is a subject I have spent a lot of time thinking about and also researching/consuming content about. I have come up with some steps that I think will help you create a sustainable evening routine.

Determine what time you want to go to bed

Deciding what time you want to be in bed is a very important first step to creating an evening routine. I have learned that the vague objective of “going to bed early” does not work for me. Picking a specific time will help you with achieving your goal of creating an evening routine.

Determine the activities you want to include in your evening routine

What activities do you want more time for in your day? What hobbies have you wanted to pick up, but felt like you didn’t have time for? These are good questions to ask yourself to start building an evening routine you feel excited to stick to.

Be realistic

It is so important to be realistic. Setting goals that are too ambitious can take you down a stressful path. I want to be clear that I am by no means saying you should avoid challenging yourself. I’m here to support you in pushing yourself and achieving difficult things. I just want you to be in a positive mental state when you set goals. The most important thing is to set goals for activities that will actually benefit you, not just things you feel pressured to do because other people say these habits are “good” or “healthy.” Creating an evening routine based on what works for you is the best, healthiest choice you can make.

Work backward

Now that you know what time you want to go to bed and what activities you want your evening routine to include, you are going to determine how much time you want to spend on each of those activities. From there, work backward to create a schedule for yourself.

Make a schedule + stick to it

I’ve identified that the root issue for me is time management. I’m planning to address this time management obstacle by creating a schedule for my evenings, where I time-block out when I’m going to do each one of my evening routine activities. 

I scheduled this into my Google Calendar and created a checklist for myself in Notion. These are my favorite tools for keeping myself organized. And I find taking these additional steps is fun and helps motivate me.

Have a plan in place for when you feel unmotivated/get in your own way

The biggest thing holding you back is yourself. I’ve identified that I am not achieving my evening routine goals because I’m getting in my own way by procrastinating, then not being ready for bed. This is either because I’m still working on something that I want to finish, or I just don’t want to go to bed yet. I know this about myself. You likely know your flaws and the habits that hold you back, If you don’t, I encourage you to spend time reflecting. Pay attention to your thoughts and behaviors to notice patterns that get in the way of your success. Then, create systems that will keep you on track when that version of yourself shows up. 

Basically, you need to identify where you are likely to veer off course and have a plan in place that will keep you on the right track when that moment comes. 

Commit to Your Goal

Another key component of sticking to your evening routine is to make a commitment to yourself and act on it. I know I’m guilty of setting goals half-heartedly, and then not feeling like I care enough about those goals to take action when the time comes. If you are like me, and you really want to make a change to the way you structure your day, make a commitment and stick to it. For me, I know this will look like making it non-negotiable to adhere to the schedule I created for my evening routine, instead of viewing it as optional. Reminding yourself why you want to create this lifestyle change is helpful for getting you back on course if you hit a roadblock. If you start to feel yourself slipping into old patterns, just acknowledge that and know that it is perfectly normal. Once you realize that you are falling into the old habits you want to change, take time to remind yourself why you set this goal in the first place. Envisioning having that free block of time at the end of the day to unwind and fully relax can help you regain motivation if you feel yourself procrastinating or not taking this goal seriously.

How To Stick To Your Evening Routine

Here are some additional tips to keep in mind to help you create a lasting lifestyle change.

Keep your expectations reasonable

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement and set big, lofty goals for yourself. But the problem is, when we get carried away, we tend to set unrealistic goals that are difficult to achieve. This then creates a snowball effect where we don’t meet our goals, which reinforces our belief that we are “bad at maintaining goals,” which diminishes our self-confidence, and then makes it hard to achieve future goals. 

As an example, if I set a goal that, all of a sudden, I am going to have the time and energy to spend two hours crocheting, plus reading 5 chapters every night while being in bed by 9 pm, that is not going to work, because that is a completely unrealistic goal for me.

However, if I set the goal to spend 30 minutes crocheting and 15 minutes reading every night, that is completely doable. 

The key is to be brutally honest with yourself and to set up an evening routine that you are actually capable of achieving. 

It is a better idea to start small and build from there. 

If you have a lot of activities you would like to add to your evening routine, start by picking two of them to do for 5-20 minutes each night. For example, you can decide to start off by focusing on adding 5 minutes of meditation and 15 minutes of reading each night. Once you are consistent with that, you can start to add on other habits. 

Starting small and adding on slowly is going to create a solid foundation that will allow you to create a more lasting and sustainable change to your routine. 

I mentioned that I use Notion as my way of staying on top of my routines and goals. I have a Notion template that I’m using as an evening routine checklist. I think Notion is a really fun tool that helps me stay motivated.

Sign up for Notion

How To Combat Revenge Bedtime Procrastination

Find time to do relaxing activities during the day

While we obviously can’t neglect our responsibilities to give us more free time during the day, we can find ways to bring little pockets of joy into each day. Hopefully, finding opportunities to do things you enjoy during the day will help you feel more balanced, so you don’t feel the need to stay up later just to have time for yourself.

Ideas for Bringing Joy Into Your Day

Listen to podcasts on your commute

If you’re already spending time commuting, you might as well capitalize on that part of your day by taking the opportunity to listen to a good podcast. 

Start taking lunchtime walks

I’m a huge fan of a lunchtime walk. I have to give a major shoutout to my dad for teaching me this habit. Taking a walk on your lunch break is a great way to relax your mind and get fresh air. What I love about this habit is that I get my movement done during the day, which means I’m not adding to the day by taking my walk after I’m done with work.

Get the Libby app on your phone

Libby is a free app that you can sign up for with a library card. This app gives you access to a library of ebooks, magazines, and audiobooks. Downloading the Libby app means you can read or listen to audiobooks whenever you have downtime (such as while you are waiting in line). I know, I know, some of you out there prefer paper books and can’t bear the thought of e-books. I used to feel the same way. But the fact that I can carry multiple books with me everywhere I go, just by having my phone, which I was carrying anyway, won me over.

Set expectations and boundaries with yourself

This goes along with what I said about knowing yourself and where you tend to fall short. Set the expectation for yourself that this change is important and you are going to put in the work to succeed.

Be kind to yourself

I am a strong believer that positive self-talk is a key component of success.

I hope this blog post inspires you to cultivate an evening routine that helps you relax and unwind at the end of the day, allowing you to feel more refreshed and energized when you wake up. 

Do you have an evening routine? Or are you interested in starting one? I would love to hear in the comments below. 

If you are interested in learning how to create and maintain habits that allow you to live your dream lifestyle, be sure to subscribe to my blog and follow my socials. I share content with tips and guidelines to help you live your best life! I’d love for you to join the community!

Featured Image: Photo by Nong on Unsplash