What do you want out of life?

My dad recently asked me what I want out of life. I said I want to be happy. 

I mentioned in this post that I am going through a bit of a quarter-life crisis. This is largely stemming from the fact that I feel like my life lacks balance. I’m very early into adulthood, and I’m still learning how to best manage my time.

I’ve been very aware of how exhausted I’ve been feeling lately and of how much I’ve been “living for the weekend.” I know this is a common experience, as it seems to be a trend that people feel drained by the work week and spend their time waiting for the weekend because that is when they feel they can relax and have fun. This is an unfortunate phenomenon because life is precious, and we shouldn’t be spending the majority of the week waiting for Saturday and Sunday to be happy. I want to design my life in a way that makes me feel fulfilled the majority of the time, not just on select days.

When I have a problem, my brain starts searching for solutions. That is why I’m creating a plan with actionable steps to improve my life. I’m sharing these steps with you so you also make strides towards overcoming any issues you are facing and progress towards a life you love. 

You are going to want to have your favorite notebook and pen or journaling app ready because some of these steps are going to be good moments for reflection.

Change your mindset

This has to be one of the first steps you take. Without changing your mindset, you aren’t going to get to where you want to go. You can’t change your outside without changing your inside. Your thoughts and beliefs create the foundation of your life experience. 

If you keep thinking about how much you love the weekends and dread the work week, that is going to be your reality. 

If you want to experience life differently, you need to start thinking in a way that is aligned with that experience.

It is also important to remember that changing your life is an ongoing process, not a milestone you achieve. Understanding that fact can help you minimize frustration and avoid unrealistic expectations.

Envision what your dream life looks like

I started this week off in a funk, and this video from YouTuber Cathrin Manning pulled me out of it. Learning this strategy for creating your dream life got me feeling re-energized to continue working towards building that life for myself. My hope is that it inspires you as well.

What you need to do to change your life is to create a clear picture of what you want your life to look like and start acting like that is already your reality. Basically, “fake it ‘til you make it.”

Take some time to reflect on these questions (Journaling Opportunity)

Get clear on what your dream life looks like.

Envision your dream self.

What does that person’s everyday life look like?

What habits do they have?

What small steps can you take today to start implementing those habits?

Also, figure out what your current problems/struggles are + think about potential solutions.

What are the specific thoughts, habits, relationships, etc that are holding you back? Think about this In all aspects of your life.

Photo by Hester Qiang on Unsplash

Once you have a clear picture of your higher self, start acting like you already are that version of yourself

Once you know where you want to go, you can identify how to get there.

What is the first step you can take? 

Find the smallest step possible to get yourself going and create momentum.

Thinking of yourself as already being the highest version of yourself will lead you to start adopting those habits and acting like that person. Even if you don’t feel like that person, this step is a powerful mindset shift that will move you in the right direction.

To give you an example of what this could look like, take me having a goal of running a successful blog. I show up and treat this blog as my business and I talk about it that way to others. In my reality, I already am a successful blogger, so I reflect that in my thoughts and actions.

Turn your life into an experiment

Many of us feel that we are “trying to figure out what to do with our lives.” There is a good chance that you don’t know the life path that will make you happy. Or maybe you have an idea, but you haven’t considered alternate routes.

Trying new things is how you discover what can make you happy. 

Learn from everything you try. Learning what you like and what you don’t like provides data that you can analyze to help you determine the next steps to take toward living your dream life.

Keep working little by little to find areas of your life you can shift to make improvements. Start implementing the solutions you identified to get you unstuck from negative patterns.

You aren’t going to change your whole life in a short period of time, but just keep experimenting with different habits until you find the ones that help you feel your best. Remember that this is active, not passive work. Changing the patterns of thoughts and behaviors that have been ingrained in us for long periods of time is hard work, but it is so worth it. 

Identify And Challenge Limiting Beliefs

Negative thoughts and self-doubt create roadblocks that hold you back from success. The stories you repeatedly tell yourself about your life and your experiences strongly impact your reality.

When you think about changes you’ve tried to make and didn’t keep up with, you might feel a sense of shame and as if you failed.  

Michelle Barnes, also known as Muchelle B online, suggests that we reframe these “failures” as “false starts.” 

“False starts are not the end of the journey, they are part of the journey.”

– Michelle Barnes

She shares how many of her healthy habits began with several attempts to start that trailed off. Her advice is to view these “false starts” as a normal part of the goal-setting/personal development journey. Adopting this mindset allows you to minimize the frustration that can arise if you don’t keep up with a new habit change on the first attempt. 

I know I have habits that I have been working on for literally years, and I’m still not where I want to be with my habits. But I keep getting back up and trying again. 

The takeaway here is to keep going. You are never going to achieve a goal if you stop trying. 

Normalize achieving your goals after multiple false starts.

Be ready to put in work

Self-improvement is not a “one-and-done” event.

Understand that creating a life you love is a lifelong journey. This is not an objective that you will one day achieve and tick off your checklist (although that would be nice). You will continue to spend the rest of your life learning from your experiences and gaining a deeper understanding of yourself. My advice is to view this as an exciting opportunity. You get to spend your life strengthening your relationship with yourself and continuing to find ways to improve.

Learn Healthy Coping Skills and Emotional Regulation

Time for some therapy lingo! Let’s break these terms down since these are important tools that will help you on your personal development journey.

Coping skills are the actions you take to calm yourself down when you feel distressed. Some examples of healthy coping skills are deep breathing, going for a walk, calling a friend, and listening to uplifting music. 

Emotional regulation is the ability to influence the way you experience your emotions in certain situations.

Seriously though, there is a reason why there are therapist-recommended strategies for managing your emotions. Check out this post to learn some tools you can use to cope with uncomfortable emotions.

Look for inspiration

Another journaling opportunity!

Who do you look up to? What is it about that person’s lifestyle/mindset/habits/etc. that you admire? Gain inspiration from that. How can you apply those elements to your life?

I get interested in how other people live their lives and structure their days. We can learn a lot from other people and find helpful tools and strategies to apply to our lives.

Surround yourself with motivational people and content

You need to surround yourself with the type of energy you want to embody in your life. I love consuming personal development content, whether that is through blog posts, podcasts, social media, or anywhere else, because hearing about other people’s personal development journeys makes me feel motivated and inspired, plus I get to learn new tools and strategies that I can implement in my life. This type of content gets you in the right headspace to succeed. 

Shifting from Mindset Work to Actions You Can Implement In Your Daily Life (Actionable Steps To Transform Your Life)

Photo by Miesha Renae Maiden: https://www.pexels.com/photo/enjoy-the-little-things-notebook-243221/

Stop Saving the Fun Stuff Only For the Weekend

“Weekdays and weekends don’t have any difference at all.”

Realizing this was an “ah ha moment” for me. I can clearly see that the way I have my life structured where I feel I can only relax, have hobbies, and eat certain foods on weekends makes it so that of course I spend all week looking forward to the weekend. Despite the fact that most of us have commitments, such as work or school that take up a lot of the week, we can still find creative ways to incorporate our “weekend lifestyles” throughout the week. 

Balance

What truly matters to me is balance. I encourage you to join me in looking for opportunities to create balance outside of the confines of the work week vs weekend mentality. I don’t mean for this to be anything extreme or unrealistic, but just small ways to bring more joy into every day.

Plans aren’t only for the weekend (just be smart about it)

Again, don’t make this anything crazy, like staying out all night when you have work the next morning. But can you make time in the week to see friends after work or school? Or meet up on your lunch break?

This article from Simply & Fiercely shares some great ideas on how you can “use your good stuff every day.” This is essentially a way to make every day feel a special by paying attention to the little details.

Photo by Pablo de la Fuente on Unsplash

Create Joyful Routines

Do at least one thing every day that brings you joy

Give yourself something to look forward to. This can be anything from wearing an outfit that makes you feel confident on Monday to planning to eat your favorite meal on Wednesday as a mid-week pick-me-up.

Take breaks (and do things that make you happy)

Check out this article on The Pomodoro Technique to learn about a time management tool that helps you structure your day with breaks. Be really intentional with using your breaks to do things that make you happy, like taking a few minutes outside or spending time on one of your hobbies. Treating breaks as an opportunity to incorporate these nourishing activities throughout our day works to break down the belief that our days are for grinding, hustling, and being exhausted, and we can only have fun once the work is done.

Prioritize sleep

I know, I know, this is boring advice. But there is a good reason people emphasize the importance of getting enough quality sleep. If we don’t get enough sleep, we have no energy to achieve our goals and improve our lives. Lack of sleep is one of the things that was keeping me stuck in the trudge through the workweek mindset. And we can’t have that. We prioritize rest in this community, so we have the energy to be our best selves.

Understand how your job impacts your life

We spend a lot of time at work. The reality, whether we like it or not, is that how you feel about your job has a large impact on your quality of life.

If you are finding this post while you are on the cusp of entering the workforce, my advice to you is to be careful when choosing a job. Don’t settle for the first job offer you receive if it isn’t the right fit for you.

If you are in a job you don’t like, I feel for you. That is a tough place to be in. If finding a job that suits you better is not an option, try to take any small steps you can to improve your current situation.

Find your ideal schedule

We have different energy peaks, or times of day when we are able to be the most productive. Experiment with different ways of breaking up your day to find the schedule that works best for you. 

Start taking note of what time of day you feel most energized and motivated. Use this information to determine what time of day to plan certain activities (i.e., you want to plan to do activities that require a lot of energy for the time of day you feel most energized and low-energy activities for the times of day you feel less energized). 

Check out this informative article from Harvard Business Review about the positive impacts of managing your energy levels.

Photo by Jordan Cormack on Unsplash

Additional Tools That Can Help You Gain Clarity And Appreciate Life More

Mindfulness and Living in the Moment

A lot of suffering and negativity that we experience is caused by living in and worrying about the past and/or future. As I said before (and I know I need to keep reminding myself) life is precious. And we should strive as much as possible to appreciate life by living in the moment.

Meditation

Meditation answers the question of “How can we be more present and live in the moment?” I recently started meditating again (after a very long time away from that habit) as a way to calm my thoughts and think more positively. Deep breathing is a powerful tool for grounding yourself and releasing negative emotions. 

Joy

I’ve brought up joy several times throughout this post because actively finding more ways to bring joyful moments into each day is what creates the foundation of a joyful life. Finding joy in the seemingly small moments, like your morning coffee or the feeling of the sun on your skin is how you can create a sustainable groundwork for your dream life.

Journaling

I’ve sprinkled some journaling opportunities throughout this blog post. Journaling is a great way to quiet your mind and get more clarity about different aspects of your life.

Gratitude

Be grateful for what you have while you continue to work to build a better life for yourself. Practicing gratitude is also an effective way to maintain a positive mindset.